Once Upon a Dream
by Neji-WarmingUpWinter
Summary: She was, and will always be my best friend, but nothing more. Always someone else's, never mine. But, knowing the fact wouldn't stop me from wanting her, nor did it cease my burning feelings for her, for her and her only. Fem!Shin, Male!Ran, KaiShin, one-sided RanShin, Ran-centric, Semi-AU


Disclaimer: Nope!

Warning(s): Fem!Shin, Male!Ran, Semi-AU, sad (not necessarily tear-jerking though), some OOCness...?, Ran-centric (Ran's POV)

Pairing(s): KaiShin, RanShin (one-sided), with other minor pairings

_Summary: She was, and will always be my best friend, but nothing more. Always someone else's, never mine. But, knowing the fact wouldn't stop me from wanting her, nor did it cease my burning feelings for her, for her and her only. Fem!Shin, Male!Ran, KaiShin, one-sided RanShin, Ran-centric, Semi-AU_

A/N: Alright...another angst fic...I seem to run into those kinds of bunnies...Why is it so hard to get a multi-chapter story under way? On the side note, I really didn't want to gender-blend Shinichi and Ran, except for the fact that it didn't really work with Shinichi as the boy and Ran as the girl. So...yeah. It's also SORTA AU-ish in the front, don't know how they actually met...And what's with all this taking down stories business?

* * *

**Once Upon a Dream**

**Kindergarten**

This was where I first met you. The quiet girl, the know-it-all, the person who would rather sit there during break and read a book.

Those sapphire orbs of yours had me entrapped from the moment I came in contact. It took all my courage to go up to you during one of the breaks and approach you. As your eyes lifted from your chapter book, one I'm sure that I wouldn't have understood a quarter of the words from then, I found myself trying hard not to stare. I saw an ocean in your eyes.

You seemed to look me over, evaluating me, in a manner much older than your apparent age. But the moment was then gone. You nodded at me almost curtly, and offered me a hello. A smile broke out on my face.

That, was the start of our friendship.

Through the course of the year, we became best friends. Mainly, it seemed, because I was the only one that had thought to approach you, and attempt to bring you out of your self-inflicted shell. You started to open up, to interact. Others saw you differently from before. It was almost as if you were a different person now.

Constantly, we were teased by our peers for being so close. Boyfriend and girlfriend. Bride and groom. Husband and wife. All the terms were used, slowly climbing up, from just dating to getting married to already married.

We were so young then, and so innocent...

And I was so unaware of the pain of the years to come...

But maybe it was better that I didn't experience such pain so soon...

**Elementary School**

During these six years, we continued to be best friends. Hanging out together, it was a good thing that our parents were good friends.

We interacted with others, though not as much as each other. There were rarely times when we said the words 'Sorry, I'm busy' to the other on any given day. It was a model of perfect friendship.

But, every relationship has its upside and downside. Though rarely did we ever have fights – and when we did, it was always the kind that you hugged and made up for minutes later after the climax of.

It was also in one of these years that our school held a dance. You looked flashing in your dress, which matched your eyes perfectly – a work of your mother's, I supposed, even with that scowl on your face, most likely from being forced to wearing a dress to this. For hell, you didn't really even want to attend. But still, I made sure that you came.

I'm sure the crowd, more specifically your fanboys (or should I say especially), agreed with me on that point.

But, in your favor, I made sure to tell off all the boys who were going to (or even planning to) hit on you.

You spent the night just watching the couples on the dance floor, never joining them yourself, until I decided to drag you onto the dance floor to the last dance of the night.

And so, we danced. As best friends, of course. And at that time, it wasn't awkward, not one bit. Not when we were so young.

Your skills on the dance floor astounded me, though when I think back now, it shouldn't really have been a surprise to me. You always seemed to be able to do everything well. Well, with the exception of singing.

You were _horrible_ at that.

Even the teachers of the school thought we liked each other, in the romantic way. Everyone knew about it. Of course we loved each other, but as friends. So, we continuously denied the fact.

But, of course, no one bothered to believe us.

Nobody ever did.

**Junior High**

These years were the rough patches of our relationship.

I had a stupid little crush with a brunette in our class, and you just _happened_ to be on bad relationships with her.

You told me that she would only hurt me, was only dating me for the reputation I had established in school – I didn't believe you. I thought, at that time, that this girl would be the one for me.

I believed that you, my best friend, the one that was nearly always right, was wrong just because I liked this girl.

That caused a lull in our once inseparable friendship. We didn't talk for nearly a month. During that time was the time I dated that girl.

During that time, you avoided me like your life depended on it, drawing back into your little shell. The sparkle of wit and intelligence in your eyes dimmed, and I found myself longing to bring them back whenever I saw in the hallways. But I was stubborn, and so, I chose not to do so. And how I regret that decision now.

At first, I believed that you had been wholly wrong about this girl, and that she was just about as sweet as you could get. Oh, how wrong I was.

Throughout the course of that month, I learned – from multiple sources, may I add – that you were right. She _was_ only using me to get higher in the popularity ladder at school, and didn't really care about me at all.

I broke up with her after I got all the proof I needed (a bit hard for me, I was no great detective), I became set on apologizing to you.

It wasn't easy. Getting your forgiveness, I mean. You could really hold a grudge. It took me almost two weeks to even catch you again, and another two to get you to forgive me, and yet another two for us to start talking like old friends again.

That was one hurdle that took us some time to jump over.

It was also the time when our semi-permanent places in school were established. I was popular, with numerous friends, though the only girls I spent time with were you and another one named Sonoko. And no, I harbored no feelings for the latter, she was just...not my type, really. Though not even you could accuse her of having a bad heart.

Another thing, was that this was the time that you decided to become a detective, a famous one, like your idol, Sherlock Holmes.

You really had skills. That time on the plane, you had me astounded with your skills, even if you did mention something sort of inappropriate, especially to girls like yourself.

And then the incident at New York City in America. I admired your bravery, your wit, to face the murderer, and then rescue him, even if you did collapse from the exhaustion on the stairs after the murderer decided not to kill us.

I was still unaware then, of the pain that was to come in the near, very near, following years of high school...

**High School**

High school. The times when relationships became steady, fan-clubs enlarged, and people became bolder.

It was also the time that I discovered that I was in love with you. Sophomore in high school. Nevertheless, it was also the year that you practically disappeared off the face of the planet, supposedly working on some big case.

I missed you. Missed you like no one else really bothered to. Shed tears for you, and you only. Never looked twice at anyone else. Even as you told me to move on, to stop waiting for you, to get a life of my own.

You couldn't imagine how happy I was when you returned, almost a year later. Yet, you seemed different than when you left. Being more reserved, less arrogant, bragging less, were all things that were changed in you. Yet, knowing the fact wouldn't stop my undying love for you.

We had grown apart in that time, yet I wouldn't give up, to try to re-obtain our previous friendship. And, once again, it was the year you met your potential boyfriend, Kuroba Kaito. Or, at least, I thought it was your first meeting. That was before.

I should have realized it right away from the way you interacted with him. It was...unnatural, to say the very least. For you, at least. I never saw you open up to anyone else before...well, except for me.

I suppose I should've felt happy for you, that you managed to make a new friend..._outside_ of the murders you ran into on a daily basis. I did. I just didn't realize how deep your relationship actually ran.

You started to spend more time with him – the more often you said that you didn't have time. You didn't neglect me, of course – still spent a good amount of time with me. Enough so that I still didn't suspect...

Then came a biggie: the Senior Prom. It took an awful lot of convincing to get you to go – from both Kaito and me. Even then, you didn't dance much – only a couple of dances with Kaito and a couple with me. A lot of guys came up to you and asked for a dance, but you denied them all of it.

Oh god, I sure am glad I wasn't you then...

I wouldn't have had the heart to do such thing.

Overall, the night ended very nicely. I got to spend time alone with you – well, not _technically_ alone, but still –, and snagged quite a few dances with some of the more popular girls. None of them even came close to your skill.

The rest of our senior year passed smoothly, with you passing all your classes with flying colors, at the top of all of them. I passed with high marks, too, of course, just needed to pick up my grades on a few subjects.

And then, finally came that day when you finally told me, told all of our friends, your little well-kept secret...

**Graduation Day**

Graduation Day. The day we finally graduated from high school. Also one of the most painful days of my whole high school career. And that was saying something, considering the days of pain I felt when you disappeared.

You looked stunning that day in your long white gown. Kaito apparently thought so too, and wouldn't leave you alone. Something about how 'his Shin-chan was so cute!' or something.

It was then that I – and most of my friends, may I add – became aware that there was something more between the two of you. Part of me wanted to know badly, but the other half...not as much. But, I was never much of the type to leave things hanging.

I vowed to clear up the matter by the end of the day.

After everyone had received their diplomat, and had been congratulated, I managed to get the truth out of you two. Without much effort, as apparently the two of you were planning to tell us after the ceremony was officially over anyway.

It hurt. The confession left a hole in my heart. Not because I wasn't happy for you, because you found happiness within a person that was not me. Even I myself wasn't really sure why. The pain of a broken heart, perhaps?

It was also the time I found out that you would be studying aboard, in London, along with – surprise, surprise – Kaito. I knew that you had always wanted to go there – Sherlock Holmes, of course, it was obvious – , and of course, I felt glad for you.

But, 'being glad' for you couldn't mask my pain.

You were planning to leave tonight too. You two were holding a party an hour following graduation, where you originally planned to tell us of your relationship and your plans to study aboard.

I managed a weak smile, before sprinting off, toward home.

The edges of my vision blurred as I ran. My heart throbbed painfully in my chest, as if it would burst. A wretched sob forced its way from my throat, a humorless chuckle following soon after. Why, why? What did he have that I didn't?

What made him so appealing to you, in such a short amount of time, when I had been by your side nearly your whole life, was the one to bring you out of your shell, helped you face the world when you were down...

Why – Why would you _still_ choose him over me?

I was by your side during the teasing, didn't care if I was also teased. I stood by your side during the rough times, never let you down. I brought forth your true side first, introduced it to the world...

Yet, you still choose someone else over me.

You were always someone else's, and when I pined for you, never mine. Only my best friend. The way you said it each time made my heart break a little more. The other thing was, I knew that you didn't know, didn't know that you were hurting me. You had always been oblivious when it came to feelings.

But now, knowing of their relationship, I hoped that my feelings would die down, stop – but I was too sure of it. It didn't – the fact wouldn't – _couldn't_ stop my burning feelings for you. I knew that, even though you were with him, my feelings for you would never completely fade away.

I wish, now, that I had confessed to you earlier. Maybe then, now, you would be mine, and mine only.

My eyes burned but I stubbornly choked back the tears. Not now, it's time to be strong and not like this...be happy for her...

That night, after your good-bye party, I watched your – and Kaito's – plane fly off into the distance. I still wondered, why I couldn't muster up the courage to tell you. Perhaps things would be different now if –

No, don't think like that. My chances of winning you over had long come and gone – I could see the love for him in your eyes, and I would be a fool to try and take the time to win you over. Everything now was – painfully – too late to chance, irreversible, unchangeable, everything – too late.

As your plane disappeared to no more than a dot in the distance, out of my sight, and I was alone – the first tear made its appearance. The second soon followed. I was never more glad that there was no one there to see me.

The second soon followed, and by the time the third made its appearance my legs wouldn't support my weight and I was on my knees, sobbing like a girl.

_No_, I told myself, profusely wiping my eyes, _No. Be strong. Don't be like this..._

But still, I wondered, as a fresh wave of sadness came upon me.

_What did he have that I didn't?_

* * *

A/N: Ahum...um...sorry...I did warn you. So, how was it? There's this button that's dying for you to press it and leave a comment on the story. So press it, will ya? Please?...With a cherry on top?


End file.
